"An entirely new and terrifying stage of my life."

I read this caption today under a photo someone had posted of himself on his music profile. It hits hard at where I am in my life right now, but is also a feeling that I tend to have regularly growing up, meeting new people, starting new projects, taking chances. Life has always seemed terrifying to me, but that fear has made me want to do every thing that I do to the fullest extent. Be the best friend, the best lover, have the most fun, laugh the most... I know I am not always the most successful at this but I do honestly try.

I am living in such an inspiring city and meeting lots of inspiring women that even though I have been working on something everyday I was starting to feel a bit behind. I took a brake today, well not totally. I took that day to make a list. If you know me you know I function off of lists and find it crazy that people could survive without them. I tend to keep a list of things that I would like to get done for the day but then there is the master list, which is not always the most organized. Everything from shaving my legs or getting my nails done to desired home improvements and photo shoots goes one this list.

When I finished this list today, and it took me hours and lots of coffee, it was five pages long. This seemed normal to me however when shown to Kylie there was a pause then, "You have a lot to do!", followed my her wonderful shriek and cackle laugh. More like I have a lot I want to do, see just cause it goes on the list does not mean it will get done. Sure the bills will get paid, but will I ever get around to designing a new business card? And if I did would it end up back on there because I was unsatisfied three months later?

Life does not seem so terrifying when you have a list to guide you. If you think about it and write it down, maybe you wont forget that that is something you wanted to do. A year ago my list included "move to New York" and now that it has been crossed off, its not nearly as terrifying as I thought it would be.

List samples:

- new business cards
- 12 new shoots to add to my portfolio (I have already completed 2, Ill let you know when they are up for show!)
- send a few post cards every month (ones I made)
- talk to my Dad more
- blog more